Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize