Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
