Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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