big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
