Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
