wake up i wanna do it froggy style
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I can't trust your balls anymore.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
