i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
