So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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