I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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