you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
