I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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