Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
