My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
