areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
His nipple licking is glorious
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