Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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