Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
