Midget sex pt 2 tonight
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
