My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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