Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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