One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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