I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
