chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize