Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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