Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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