Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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