dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
So. Much. Porn.
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