I just saw a hot homeless man
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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