fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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