why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
