Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
