Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
