So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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