Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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