hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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