His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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