I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Randomize
