the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
