so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
you had me at cake vodka
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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