I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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