Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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