I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
