he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
