And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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