I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
