dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
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