Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
