True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize