CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
