I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
