too bad you live with your parents still
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
