he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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