Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
