I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I came so hard my ears popped.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
do nipples grow back?
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