kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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