Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
